Friday, October 29, 2010

Déjà vu

Disclaimer - This frat-tastic entry won’t make much sense to my non-Greek friends; and by non-Greek I mean those without a fraternity / sorority experience. Hellenes, I mean no offense.

I am a Tri Delta and Ben is an ATO. We had a large time in our respective Greek houses during college, and I spent a lot of time as an officer on a disciplinary committee, Standards. These first few weeks of motherhood have me reliving my sorority president experience. I feel like I’m in one long Standards meeting.

Me: Marryn, do you know why you were called into Standards?

Marryn: Was it because I threw up all over myself last night? I wasn’t feeling well and had a large dinner.

Me: Well, partly…

Marryn: Was it because I was caught in a pool of my own urine this morning? I had a really long night. You don’t understand.

Me: That’s some of it, yes…

Marryn: Was it because I shacked at the ATO house? I just took a nap, I swear!

Me: Well, we actually didn’t know about that…

Marryn: Was it because I kept the house up last night with wild crying? I’m only three weeks old and I’ve been having difficulty expressing myself lately.

Me: OK, that’s enough. As punishment for the above offenses, you must do five hours of study hall and pay a $50 fine.

Marryn: Ummmm, no. I don’t want to.

Me: Fine. I’m calling your mother. Wait…Damnit.

Speaking of college, here’s a picture of Marryn in her first OU onesie. Unfortunately, we had to ritualistically burn it after losing to Missouri last Saturday. Sorry baby girl.


  1. Hope she isn't caught drinking from a bottle this weekend or she'll be back in Standards on Sunday!

  2. This is absolutely hilarious! You also have to repeat, Marryn, please remember everything that happens in Standards is confidential. And, conclude with "Thank you for coming in, we love you and you are a wonderful person."

    I also think you should have a gavel and at each feeding ask, "Marryn, are the doors to the feeding room secure?"...

    Marryn can also state "All present are members and in good standing!"

    Then if she fusses about anything you've done, gently remind her that you can't break the law when you are the law!

    Just some food for thought...HAHAH! Can't wait to see you in November!

  3. Too funny, and too true! Having logged my time on standards (that's ON standards, not IN FRONT OF standards), I do appreciate the similarities.

    One day when we were looking at TCU attire at Flash, my boys ran over, grabbed my hand, and dragged me in front of the paddle display. "MOM, we HAVE to have these! They say BIG BRO and LIL BRO!" We left with two keychain-sized paddles, wooden cutouts that said "Big Bro" and "Lil Bro," two wooden skulls and crossbones, and a small bottle of wood glue. And so our own local fraternity was formed - Sigma Lambda Omega Beta, or SLOB. I threaten to mount letters over the front door whenever the pizza boxes and dirty socks start to pile up.

    Naturally, I am on staff as "housemother."