Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Boz, the Diaper Genie

This is Boz, our 4 year old Ridgeback.

Boz has many talents. Among them...

squirrel hunting,

greeting visitors,

swimwear modeling,

patrolling the fence perimeter,

and his Obi Wan Kenobi impression.

In the last few days, Boz has added another talent to his repertoire – diaper disappearing.

Friday night, I got a text from Ben saying, “I think Boz has been eating the diaper cake. There are like 6 missing. Do we have any Vaseline?”

You need to know that Boz has eaten a number of naturally occurring and grotesque things (see squirrel image above). I didn’t get a chance to snap pictures of the other squirrels, cat, rabbit, countless birds, several possums, a few rodents, hundreds of bugs, horse poop, pounds of pecans, and small trees he’s also consumed throughout his lifetime. Eating members of the plant and animal kingdoms are nothing new. He has the GI tract of a mountain goat.

Even so, Ben’s text still made my stomach harden. Egads, diapers?! Diapers are made of non-biodegradable material! Diapers are evil land-fillers! Diapers swell with liquid! And he ate 6 of them? Holy underwear! (Yes, he eats those too.)

After securely shutting him out of the nursery, a few Vaseline sandwiches, and putting ourselves on barf watch all weekend, we decided to take Boz to the vet yesterday.

Over one hundred dollars later, things appear to be back to normal. They “made sure” there were no diapers in his stomach. I didn’t ask for details on how that discovery was made. Plus he’s on a super high fiber diet for a week to help him flush the plastic out of his system. He's effectively back to normal, playing with sister AD, guzzling up his stinky fibrous food, and diligently patrolling the fence perimeter once again.

Even after everything he went through, last night when we got back from the vet I was putting baby accessories into a drawer organizer in the nursery. I turned around to see him sneaking off with something in his mouth. I followed him to his bed and saw that he had a tiny sock and shoe neatly placed on his bed and was contemplating them. Not eating, just contemplating with a furrowed brow. It then occurred to me that maybe he thinks that if he gets rid of the baby’s stuff then she won’t show up, and I began to tear up.

I bent down, kissed his head, and assured him that he was our first baby, and we would still love him when the human baby was born. I hope he understands now. Bless the Boz, our Diaper Genie.

Monday, August 23, 2010

If it ain’t broke…

You’ve heard of Dr. Zhivago.

Dr. No.

Dr. Evil.

And how about everyone’s favorites McSteamy & McDreamy?

Well, meet McFamiliar.

This is Jim Friedman, my former pediatrician, who will also be Lil Miss’ doctor.

I “interviewed” him Friday morning. I’m using quotes, because I pretty much knew I wanted him to be her physician. The déjà vu came on strong as I walked through the primary colored lobby, past the animal themed exam rooms and into Dr. Friedman’s wood paneled office decked out with pictures of his granddaughter.

We talked about what will happen on her birthday and the immediate weeks thereafter. We discussed breast versus bottle feeding, and he gave me some good advice about being positive and flexible. Overall, he confirmed that yes; I did indeed want him to be her pediatrician. I know she will be as comfortable with him as I am.

Hey, if it ain’t broke?

Monday, August 16, 2010

In the Heat of the Night…& the Day

Riddle me this...Is this a joke? Is someone playing a large scale weather-related prank on me? If so, it’s not amusing, and you may cease.

If you have stepped out of your home in the last three weeks, you will have noticed the climate closely resembling the surface of the sun. If you have had the misfortune of encountering me in the last three weeks, I am very sorry. Suffice it to say that it’s the heat. I’m unpleasant, and I’m aware. August in Texas is always miserable, but this year is a sweltering standout due to the extra pregnancy pounds I’m lugging around.

To quote Jane Austen, “What dreadful weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.” I can think of some more appropriate non-Victorian adjectives to describe my current situation. This 21st century gal is in a constant state of sliminess, awkwardness, mugginess, and unseemliness.

Perhaps it’s not a joke, but rather karma coming into play. Mom was pregnant with me during the heat wave of 1980. They make t-shirts about this, people.

The summer of 1980 saw temperatures reach above 100 degrees 69 times; including a record 42 consecutive days from June to August. Did I mention she was pregnant in Galveston with 99% humidity and due in mid-September?

I think I’ve talked myself into believing the karma argument. Apparently I deserve this.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Time Saving T-Shirt

Dear Fellow Citizens of Earth,

To save us all some time and many of you some embarrassment, I will start wearing this t-shirt on a daily basis.

You're welcome,

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Showered with Love

Saturday was my first shower, and what a wonderfully memorable experience it was! I think I’m still on a high from all the warm wishes, support, and love shown to us by the guests. My girlfriends, Becky, Lauren, Kalee, and Heather hosted the shower at Becky’s parents’ home, which was the perfect setting. I’m biased, but I think it was the nicest shower I’ve ever been to!
Lil Miss' proud Grammy, Lana

One of the adorable outfits. I love smocking!

What a haul?! Thank you friends!

The lovely hostesses, Lauren, Kalee, Becky, & Heather. Thank you and love you girls!