Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Boz, the Diaper Genie

This is Boz, our 4 year old Ridgeback.

Boz has many talents. Among them...

squirrel hunting,

greeting visitors,

swimwear modeling,

patrolling the fence perimeter,

and his Obi Wan Kenobi impression.

In the last few days, Boz has added another talent to his repertoire – diaper disappearing.

Friday night, I got a text from Ben saying, “I think Boz has been eating the diaper cake. There are like 6 missing. Do we have any Vaseline?”

You need to know that Boz has eaten a number of naturally occurring and grotesque things (see squirrel image above). I didn’t get a chance to snap pictures of the other squirrels, cat, rabbit, countless birds, several possums, a few rodents, hundreds of bugs, horse poop, pounds of pecans, and small trees he’s also consumed throughout his lifetime. Eating members of the plant and animal kingdoms are nothing new. He has the GI tract of a mountain goat.

Even so, Ben’s text still made my stomach harden. Egads, diapers?! Diapers are made of non-biodegradable material! Diapers are evil land-fillers! Diapers swell with liquid! And he ate 6 of them? Holy underwear! (Yes, he eats those too.)

After securely shutting him out of the nursery, a few Vaseline sandwiches, and putting ourselves on barf watch all weekend, we decided to take Boz to the vet yesterday.

Over one hundred dollars later, things appear to be back to normal. They “made sure” there were no diapers in his stomach. I didn’t ask for details on how that discovery was made. Plus he’s on a super high fiber diet for a week to help him flush the plastic out of his system. He's effectively back to normal, playing with sister AD, guzzling up his stinky fibrous food, and diligently patrolling the fence perimeter once again.

Even after everything he went through, last night when we got back from the vet I was putting baby accessories into a drawer organizer in the nursery. I turned around to see him sneaking off with something in his mouth. I followed him to his bed and saw that he had a tiny sock and shoe neatly placed on his bed and was contemplating them. Not eating, just contemplating with a furrowed brow. It then occurred to me that maybe he thinks that if he gets rid of the baby’s stuff then she won’t show up, and I began to tear up.

I bent down, kissed his head, and assured him that he was our first baby, and we would still love him when the human baby was born. I hope he understands now. Bless the Boz, our Diaper Genie.

No comments:

Post a Comment