Thursday, September 23, 2010

I am Lauren’s awkward orange bottle

Have you seen Fight Club?

It’s a late nineties movie starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt. The narrator, Norton, frequently speaks in voiceover. “I am Jack’s smirking revenge. I am Jack’s cold sweat. I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.” The viewer doesn’t know it until the end of the movie, but the narrator is actually Jack and is speaking in third person. He literally is his own revenge, sweat, surprise, etc. His idiosyncrasies have come to define him without him even realizing it.

It’s a complicated concept, but one that I’ve recently come to identify with. For example:

*I am Lauren’s swollen ankles.

*I am Lauren’s nagging voice.

*I am Lauren’s elevated blood pressure.

*I am Lauren’s achy knees.

*I am Lauren’s urine collection receptacle.

Seriously. Could this thing be more obtuse?

My pregnancy has come to define me, and frankly, it’s becoming a struggle to stay positive all the time. Thankfully I’ve got a loving husband, understanding friends, and empathetic family members who remind me that the reward is closer than ever.

The best news is that Lil’ Miss is healthy, growing strong, and may join us sooner than anticipated. She’s measuring about three weeks larger than average. Who is shocked by this? No one really. Have we met?

I am Lauren’s complete lack of surprise.

No comments:

Post a Comment