Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Let's do the time warp...please?!
I'd like to begin by noting how very much I love my daughter.
She is this beautiful, fiercely alive creature that I still can't believe we made out of thin air. I would not trade staying home with her for anything. Marryn is my whole heart.
That being said, sometimes I feel as though time has forgotten me. When people ask, "Isn't time just flying by?" I want to yell that "No! It is most certainly not." Is it supposed to be flying, because right now it feels like my 13 week old should be about seven?
Maybe it's the sleeplessness talking. When you don't sleep more than three hours at a time for seven months, I guess you're bound to get a little loopy.
I can say that on the whole I enjoy what happens while time is moving at a snails pace. The cycle of nursing, playing, changing, rocking, rinse and repeating is one I look forward to everyday. I love every minute being with Marryn. All I'm saying is I feel every one of those minutes for what they are, and I'm afraid this makes me a bad parent.
Ahhh second guessing oneself...
Conversely, I have marveled at the almost immediate speed which mother's guilt sets in.