I was looking in the mirror yesterday and had to laugh at my appearance. Stringy ponytail, red eyes, stained baggy t-shirt, flip flops. You know when you’re barely pregnant, and you just look kind of fat? Well something similar happens on the other end of pregnancy. When you’re barely a mother you just start to look like a homeless person. The funny realization came when I started counting the similarities, and found they weren’t just physical.
New Mother or Homeless Person?
You rarely bathe or brush your teeth.
Your companions are dogs.
You get excited about drinking alcohol because you can’t have it much.
Nice people who feel sorry for you bring you food.
You wear ill-fitting clothes during the day because you can sleep in them at night.
You sometimes expose yourself in public.
You can wack out on someone and they’ll easily excuse your erratic behavior.
You talk to inanimate objects.
Wiping someone else’s bodily fluids off you is a regular occurrence.
You tote around a small closet’s worth of blankets, clothes, food, etc.
What am I forgetting? Oh yeah, that’s another one.
RIP self possession. See you in about five years.